While for some people the 4th of July means a celebration of freedom and something about colors that don't run (why don't the colors of the French flag run? I never got that), for this Grinch today means shielding my dogs from those evil colorful monsters outside.
On the one hand, the 4th of July happens roughly once a year, so I should take it as a responsible adult and just make sure my dogs make it through the day. On the other hand, I can't help myself. I hope everyone who lights fireworks suffers a minor injury. Nothing life-threatening.
The only thing that makes my day better, other than a large supply of Swifter Wet to clean after the shaking dogs, is watching fireworks accidents videos.
Rest in Peace, Madame.
While Jeff Goldblum and Artie Lange will probably outlive us all, we have to wonder who's next. Apparently these things come in tens, which means these people should starts getting worried.
Vince is a loose cannon. The next prostitute might not take pity on him.
The professor is bound to get an angry customer knocking on his door, demanding his $59.99 back.
Kevin might actually try one of his natural cures.
And you know some people just have it coming:
Remember how a few years ago you went to look for a car, and you didn't know much about much because your parents didn't know much about much, but before you left their home they gave you two advices:
1. Always tuck in your shirt. You don't want to catch a cold, do you?
2. Don't buy an American car.
And it's sad, but what can you do? Disobey your parents?
So you drove past the balloons and past the flags and past the BBQ and the Miller Lite and you get yourself a reliable car.
Now GM is set to change everything. No, it's not gunning for the Prius. No. It's going for your heart!
And the guys at Current TV have a heart. An American heart!
(via)
