I'm not proud of myself

But I saw this ad and you know I had to write something.

Edith Patrick, I am looking forward to hear from.

I need to let my wife know about that, I suppose. If she doesn't mind me partnering with Ms. Patrick, then thank be to God almight.

Hello,


How are you today? I hope you are fine. If so thank be to God almigthy.
please excuse me, I saw your contact email while browsing through the internet so I decided to contact you despite that I
have not seen you in person. It will be my pleasure to communicate with you. My name is Edith, 23 years from Democratic Republic Of Congo in Central Africa. I am single girl looking for honest and nice person. Somebody who care and fear God whom I can partner with. I
don't care about your colour or ethnicity.


I would like to know you more, most especially what you like and what you
dislike.I'm sending you this beautiful mail, with a wish for much happiness. I am looking forward to hear from.
Thanks and God bless.


Love from,
Edith Patrick

The Surfing CEO

 

I've mentioned before my scorn for the Rosetta Stone commercial. It has a lady flirting with us, saying people in NASA use Rosetta Stone. Like I'm supposed to be impressed.

And I talked about my annoyance with the Zyrtec commercial. In short, No. I don't know the song Time in a Bottle.

And I could mention the violent urges the FreeCreditReport.com guy brings about every time I see his ugly face.

But nothing, NOTHING could equal my hatred for this Microsoft commercial.

They talk about an economic tsunami, which is unbelievably offensive when you think about the thousands of tsunami victims. And then this douche talks about how great a tsunami is for a surfing CEO.

And then he says his company is doing great in this bad environment, which is supposed to make me happy for him? Seriously, this commercial is insensitive and stupid and ugly.

And I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, neither. Something about wolf packs. I guess I'm not their target audience, not being a surfing CEO and all.

The video is below, just in case you don't know what I'm talking about. But you do know. And you know it's the most horrible commercial in the history of this great planet.

Cake Wrecks

The beauty of Cake Wrecks is not just in their display of horrible cakes that should get their makers deported or at least have a shoe thrown at them. The beauty of Cake Wrecks, in other words, is not just in putting up pictures like this one:

No. It's about showing us the horrible cakes but then giving us hope. Like an Obama after 8 years of Bush, they give us the good cakes on Sundays. Like this one:

More good bad and ugly below:


Good

Bad

And WTF?

Your Outraged Yet? The Origin of Teabagging

I actually happened to be in DC on Tea-Party / Teabagging day because I took my son to the Air and Space Museum. I saw only one giant pick-up truck with a big sign in the back, protesting the way Obama stole the elections, or something like that. And I didn't even have a camera...

Luckily, I have Flickr.

More below, including the origins of teabagging.

Hey, that's offensive in an ironic way. Well done.

Obama is Satan? I understand Hitler. Hitler is Protest 101. But Satan? Well done!


Hey, big boy, you tell them.
Obama has been much too preoccupied with raising taxes to be able to target terrorism.
Other than having the biggest tax cut in history and all.
But still!


Infiltrators! Don't you know we can't handle the truth?


Here's one from March.
Look, Obama's hope is shooting a small business.
Or something like that. I'm not that good with metaphors.


All right. Someone needs a hug. Or some teabagging.

And here's the origin of teabagging, from John Waters' movie Pecker. I'm proud to be a Baltimorean Baltimorian Baltimore resident today.

Actually, according to Waters, he only introduced the term, but the act of teabagging existed before him.

"Teabagging" is by my definition the act of dragging your testicles across your partner's forehead. In the UK it is dipping your testicles in your partner's mouth. I didn't invent the term or the act but DID introduce it to film in my movie "Pecker." "Teabagging" was a popular dance step that male go-go boys did to their customers for tips at The Atlantis, a now defunct bar in Baltimore. Hope this helps. -- John Waters

How to keep your marriage alive

A couple that fists together stays together.





(via)

And on the eighth day, after a good rest, God created the dinosaur

Located in Kentucky, because where else would God want it to be? The Creation Museum proves science can help us only in limited ways. True, dinosaur fossils have been found, and true, the Bible really doesn't mention too many gigantic creatures, but as you can see from the pictures I copied from a Flickr Photo Essay by John Scalzi, dinosaurs actually lived in biblical times. And they were awesome. And penguins were our companions.

Who is your daddy, and what does he do?

I saw Kindergarten Cop today, because sometimes a man's just gotta watch Kindergarten Cop.

It reminded me of these eBaum's World Prank Calls. This one is my favorite, because it shows how difficult it is for a telemarketer to get off the phone.