The woman that doesn't require validation from anyone is the most feared individual on the planet. -Mahadesa Najumi
About a week ago I was propositioned by a woman who sees more in me than I saw in myself. This beautiful woman is a very successful Pure Romance consultant. She asked me if I would be a live lingerie model for an event she was doing. All excited, I said sure. Didn't even miss a beat or give it a second thought.
Then after the fact, and a after I already made the commitment, I got nervous. It was because she had tagged me in the post with all the available options of outfits to chose from. I immediately became self conscious. I looked nothing like the models. I don't have the type of body that fits well into a perfect package. Not only that but I am awkward in person. Soon after this moment of panic I realize that I had a concert that night. The modeling gig was 1:30pm-5pm and I had to be home to change to go to the venue promptly after.
In the post where I was tagged for the available options, I allowed for an item to be chosen for me. Well, she had decided on what I deemed as the most risky piece available. The model looked absolutely gorgeous in the piece. I felt like I was going to look like a busted can of biscuits. I was anxious for days and if I was being honest, I was thinking of ways to back out. Even up until the last minute.
I had attempted to buy thigh high leggings, after I talked myself into following through with it for the 18th time, and they were way to small for my thunder thighs. I then was incredibly frustrated. Not only was back fat Betty going to be out to play but so was cellulite sally was going to make an appearance as well. I decided since my body was going to look like shit I need to make my face look flawless.
It is now the day of, and I have taken way too long to get ready. Not only that but it decided to start pouring rain as I was leaving. I needed to make a pit stop at the store for tights, because the thigh highs wouldn't fit, and was running late.
On my way to the store, and to the venue, and I was trying to come up with a million excuses to back out. Then, on top of it all, because of the rain, everyone was driving incredibly slow. But, I did it and I made it.
I had a lot of self talk in the car and days prior. The self talk consisted of saying I could do this over and over again. Trying to be an influence for other woman. And I also kept telling myself that no woman looks like the model, but more woman look like me. So I HAD to do this and my anxiety wouldnt get in the way.
I did it... I showed up. I was anxious and nervous. After checking in I received my oufit and went into the bathroom where the other models were changing. I told the garment out of the packaging, after removing my other clothes, and put it on. It was at that moment I had fully expected to be uncomfortable and frustrated because of the way it fit. I had thought I was going to have to give myself some more self talk. However, much to my surprise, the opposite happened. When I put the lingerie piece on it slide on like a glove. As if it was made for me... It fit every inch of my body perfect and flawlessly. I had previously attempted to put on my tights and they were too tight. I decided to go without stockings. With the way the outfit looked on me, I was ok with cellulite Sally coming out to play. I stepped out of the stall and looked into the mirror and saw a woman I didnt recognize. A strong sexy woman.
I stepped out into the open floor of the venue, where I was set to mingle and let people know about what I was wearing. There was so MUCH positive feed back that it made me feel like I was on top of the world. Thinking about it now makes me want to cry.
I am so glad I followed through with the experience because it was what I had needed. However, it broke my heart to hear woman say,"That looks really good on you!! But it wouldn't look good on me". I had thought the SAME thing right before I had put the outfit out.
My word of advise is... Do NOT doubt yourself. You are sexy and you have the ability to be sexy.
I strongly encourage woman to buy lingerie and wear it; even if its around the house. Or do a boudoir photo shoot. Get outside of you comfort zone but get more inside of being yourself. ♥
The Perfect Outfit For Me...