I'm 8 years old. I'm cleaning my room and playing while I do it. It's taking me too long is what she says. She comes bursting in angry. I don't know why she is so angry, I'm cleaning like she asked and I'm leaving her alone. She rips everything down from my closet and throws it around. Takes out my dresser drawers and dumps them on the ground. Everything is happening so quickly, and so loud. I'm begging her to stop... and I'm sorry for taking so long. I start to cry. She is mad that I'm crying because I brought this on myself. She gets really close to me and I flinch as she grabs my shoulder and shakes me. She says to me through clenched teeth, " Do I need to give you a reason to cry!?". This scares me, and I say no but start to cry harder. She continues to trash the bedroom and saying that she is going to throw all my stuff away so this can't happen again. I'm still crying, I just want her to stop. She is REALLY angry now since I won't stop crying. She grabs me by my ponytail, yanks me and throws me down on my bed. I hurry and crawl into the fetal position because I know what is going to happen. She hits me and keeps hitting me. She doesn't stop hitting me until her boyfriend at the time tells her that is enough. She then leaves the room and I lay there trying to stop myself from crying. I need to get up and hurry to get this room cleaned before she gets mad again.
I'm 10 years old and its summer time. I'm grounded for some reason again, although I can quite remember why. I'm bored and its too quite in the house. All I am doing is starring at my very white walls thinking. Thinking it would be okay to ask my mom if I could go out and play. Not to sit in the house. She is always telling me that I'm not active enough. I decided to be daring.. I went downstairs to my mom's room and asked. The thing I did wrong, then thing I miscalculated would be her reaction. I could never seem to get that right. I woke her up from her nap to ask... that was a HUGE mistake. She told me no, and then I went back up to my room. 5 minutes later I could hear the foot stepped pounding down the hall. She came bursting into my room screaming. "HOW DARE YOU WAKE ME UP TO ASK ME TO GO OUTSIDE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE FUCKING GROUNDED!!!". I backed up on to my bed bracing myself for what was going to come next. She had a spatula in her hand and while she was screaming she raised it to hit me. I quickly got in the fetal position; trying to bring my legs and arms as close to my body as possible while protecting my head. Anticipating the impact. She struck me several times, all while I begged her to please stop and saying that I was sorry. I was always sorry... I had huge welts on my thighs for days. I tried telling the school what was going on. Instead of calling CPS, they called my mom. I went home to a very angry mom, two brother that were shocked that I had the balls to say anything, and a lot of yelling. I was an ungrateful piece of shit and I needed to go live with my father if it was so bad living with her. Being abused is being locked in a closet with no food, and being burned with a curling iron. I was simply just properly punished in her eyes. This was the first time I was "kicked out".
I'm 13, everything hurts. All I want to do is cry and I can't seem to face the world. It feels good to get release while I run the scissors across my wrists and cry. This is pain I know I am feeling, this is a pain that is real. Afterwards, I lay in bed. I can't bring myself to go to school.
I'm 15 years old and on the front porch of my childhood home. I'm not allowed to come in. I have a bag of clothes next to me and I'm waiting for my dad to come pick me up. She's screaming, she is always mad about something. I'm trying not to cry because I don't want to get it. She is screaming at me that I am ruining her marriage and that I am causing her unhappiness. This is the first time I remember feeling like I wanted to die. I was a good for nothing piece of shit like she told me I was. I was ungrateful, a brat, and an over eater. No one wanted me around...
I'm 16 years old, it's a school morning. I am sound asleep when all of a sudden I am woken up by my door bursting open, and my lamp being thrown against the wall. My immediate reaction is to scream. I scream so loud my vocal cords hurt and I am shaking I'm so scared. It's my mom. She is mad because I didn't make her coffee for her before I went to bed. She specifically asked me to get it ready for her in the morning, and I told her I would in a little. I completely forgot and went to bed. She is mad because she asked me to do that ONE thing and I forgot. I always forget. Now, she didn't have a pot of coffee to wake up to.
I'm 17 years old. My mom and I aren't getting along. I don't remember what we were fighting about but it was something. I had a school play I was going to be apart of, and she said I could do it any more. I agreed with her, but knowing that I was going to disobey her. She saw that I had a bigger bag than normal and my curling iron in my hand. I don't remember the escalation, but she had told me to put the curling iron back in the house and I said no. She went to go snatch it out of my hand, while doing so poured her coffee halfway down my body and hit me in the head with the curling iron 3 times. I of course stayed home from school, but she said I wouldn't go to school again. She would withhold me from going because school was a privilege. I told her she couldn't keep it from me. A week later... I moved out for the first time. That was the first time in a long time I felt free.
I'm 26 years old. My mom and I are fighting because I won't watch her difficult misbehaved dogs while her and my stepdad make a trip down to Florida. One they can't afford. She asked me to watch them, but it was a redundant question. I lived with them and didn't pay rent. I OWED it to them do it. If I chose not to, I would have to pay rent so they could board the dogs for their trip. Either way I was forced into an uncomfortable situation. So I decided that I was going to move out. This made my mom and stepdad VERY unhappy. My last night there, I was corned in the upstairs hallway by her. I had just gotten home, and she came stomping upstairs. She corned me so I could leave, that I was forced to hear what she had to say. She had her finger pointed at me and she was talking through her teeth. I don't remember what was said to me exactly but it was something along the lines of being an ungrateful bitch. I was terrified that she was going to hit me. When she was done yelling at me, I went in my room and cried hysterically. I knew I needed to get out and never come back. The next day I moved out. And guess what.... they found someone to watch the dogs without my help and money.
I'm 26 years old, in my very own apartment. I think I am in love but with a man who has some problems. He drinks, a lot. And he is crazy possessive and jealous. He has been accusing me of sleeping with all my male friends, or wanting to. He tells me that he doesn't like big girls and that I need to lose weight. He follows me EVERYWHERE... I just need to get away. He was drinking again, and I needed some space to think. So I decided to take a shower. I forgot to lock the door and here he comes in the shower while I'm washing my hair. He thinks its cute, but he's invading my space. I don't get mad or upset, because I don't want him to freak out. I would like a peaceful night of sleep. Some time later, we are having a good night and we are both having a drink. I have to use the bathroom and he thought it would be cute to say lets go together. I immediately get weirded out because he keeps doing stuff like this. I tell him no as calmly as possibly. luckily he just laughs it off and it doesn't turn into an escalated matter. I can't seem to shake him. Him following me or wanting to be around me. He texts me several times a day while I'm at work. If I don't answer, then he gets angry. If he gets angry, He drinks. And then its a shit show when I get home. I can't seem to shake him. I need to get out and I need to get away. I have my friend fake an emergency so I can get out and get away. I worry that he will follow. I feel trapped....